Lincoln has been worried about growing up lately. He struggles to wrap his brain around being anywhere but with us. The questions he asks are all too familiar. I often struggled with growing up too, but don’t we all? I remember one night, when I was probably eight, crying in my bed. My mother came in worried about why I was so upset. She asked me what was wrong, and I burst into tears, “I don’t want to grow up!” She held me in her arms and told me how I had many, many years before I was grown.
While driving in the car Lincoln asked, “Mom, is your mom a grandma?”
I responded with a little too much information, “Yep, she is. And one day I will be a grandma too!”
Lincoln’s lip started to quiver, “I don’t want you to be a grandma, I want you to stay the same!”
I tried to share the same advice my mom did with me years ago, “I have many, many, many years before I am a grandma. Don’t worry bud.”
Lincoln thought for a moment, “Do grandmas die?”
I paused, “Well when they are really old.”
Lincoln with a quivering lip, “I don’t want you to die!”
Me trying to comfort him, “Oh buddy, that isn’t going to happen for 100 years!”
Lincoln thought about it, “Well when you are a grandma and you die, will God make you perfect and the same as you are now?”
Me, “Yep, but with less zits too.”
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Later that night we were watching “The Middle,” and the oldest son had returned from college. I didn’t notice Lincoln was even watching it until he said, “When I grow up like that boy, I am still going to live here. Okay?”
“Sounds good to me,” I said, “But you might change your mind when you’re older?”
“No I won’t. I don’t want to leave you.”
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And then marriage discussions happened. While talking about names, Lincoln asked me about my parent’s last name.
“Well, I use to be Heather Jones but then I married daddy and became Heather Roberts,” I explained.
“What? That doesn’t make sense.”
“Well, name a girl in your class?”
“Danika”
“When you grow up you will find a girl, and if you marry Danika, her name would become Danika Roberts. Does that make sense?”
“Yea,” thinking for awhile, “What happens if a girl finds another girl?”
“Hmmmmmm…………..I don’t know how that works actually……”
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Later while driving in the car, Lincoln became worried about leaving the house.
“Mom do I have to move out when I grow up?”
"Nope”
“When I grow up will I ever see Maverick again?”
“Of course you will! I still see my family.”
“Can I marry you?” He asked.
“No, not really”
“I just don’t know how I will ever find a girl without a ring,” he paused staring out the window and thinking about wedding rings, “All I have is CTR rings.”
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That is a small taste of all the thoughts of my sweet little Lincoln. He is loving, scared of death, constantly worried about others, and always concerned about being good. We call him our angel, although he explained to us, “I’m like an angel mom, but I don’t have wings.”
To sum him up best, I will end with something he said the other day,
“Do you know why I do my best every single day at school? Why I try my best to always make good choices? I do my best to make you proud mom.”
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