My Dog Ate my Homework

"My dog ate my homework" is a phrase I've heard only in the movies. I never actually thought kids were stupid enough to use it on a teacher, and I really never thought that it could possibly be true. Well apparently I was wrong on all accounts. Yesterday, while looking through baby pictures on the computer, I let Lincoln roam the house destroying whatever he wanted while I enjoyed 15minutes of my own time. Three minutes into my peace, I look over at my child chumping enthusiatically on some paper that had been torn to pieces.

My first thought, "That ought to back you up for awhile" and I reached over to see what it was. On one small sliver of paper I read "court" and that's when I lost it.

"Oh my gosh! They're going to send me to jai!" I screamed, grabbing the dime size pieces from him and frantically trying to piece them together. With a handful of nothing but confetti, I look up and notice a very large chunk in Lincolns mouth. Our eyes met for a brief second before he darted from the room.

"You get back here! Do you want me to go to jail?" I yelled after him as he giggled and made it into his room. My efforts were worthless in the end because it was a large chunk of blank nothing.

Over the next few hours I wondered what to do, and today I decided to call the court house in Pocatello. Finally, I figured out the number and an extremely bored lady answered the phone.

"How can I direct your call?" she asked verrrry sloooowly in a computer like voice.

"Well I'm not really sure," I hesitated for a moment "well you see my baby ate my jury duty paper and I, I don't know what to do."

That seemed to perk her right up and after coughing, over what seemed like a laugh to me, replied "can you say that again?"

"My son. Ate. My. Jury. Duty. Paper" I repeated completely embarrassed and annoyed because I'm positive she heard me the first time.

With an almost controlled voice she dared to ask me again "Im sorry please say that one more time".

Now I was just mad, "Alright lady!" I snapped, "You heard me the first time!"

"Alright" she said, and not bothering to even hide her laughs she covered the phone with her hand and started retelling the story to someone else who also found it entertaining because an echo of annoying laughter filled my ears.

After 10 minuets and my story retold at least 5 more times, jail was starting to sound nice and I thought about hanging up. Eventually the lady gave me a number to call on Friday.

I will never make fun of the kid whose dog ate his paper again.
-Heather