Mother's Day

This Mother's Day I will remember forever. Nothing big happened. I didn't have a baby or celebrate it for the first time; I simply understood it. On past Mother's Days I have asked to be pampered. I don't want to change diapers, make bottles, hold crying kids, or clean up toys. I guess you might say, it is the one day a year that I don't want to be a mother. Sounds horrible, I know.

This year it felt different. I felt different. On Wednesday I went to a "Munchies with Moms" at Lincoln's preschool. The kids sang adorable songs, made us hats, cards, and coasters. It was perfect, and I suddenly felt this overwhelming sense of pride. I get to be a mom! I get to come to these activities and listen to my child sing! I am experiencing something I dreamed of my entire life! 

I am lucky.

When Lincoln walked out on the stage I felt something I can't even explain. I instantly began crying, and the tears that I quietly wiped away, were a small drop of  evidence of the happiness swarming inside. My little boy sang his heart out to me, and I will never forget it.

When we got home, all I could think about was how Mother's Day flowers, chocolates, and presents were so silly. My heart was so full I couldn't imagine wanting anything else for Mother's Day. 

I also felt a sense of sadness. I felt guilty for being so selfish; for taking my children for granted. I know too many beautiful women who can't have children. It breaks my heart. It doesn't seem fair, and I can't imagine what Mother's Day means to them. They are so strong, and their constant faith and powerful examples are what help me in my parenting.

You might say this Mother's Day was extra special because I finally stopped focusing on me. It was a day that I spent being grateful for what I have, and a day to remember the little boys who call me mom.