Boating and Fireworks

These last couple of days have been fun and exhausting! 

Yesterday my day started out with spending some time with my sweet friend and co-worker Angel. One of my graduated students desperately needed a ride to Seattle to have a tattoo removed. This particular student doesn't have a huge support system, and I have been wanting to be "mom" to him for awhile. I finally got the chance! (This is huge! I love opportunities to serve and share love). To keep things ethical, I asked Angel to come along with me. She's about half my size, but she has twice the heart. Oh my goodness! She is amazing with my children! I'm talking super mom; wiping faces, holding hands, carrying Maverick, and completely taking care of them. It was like a stress-free vacation with her. As my student went to the doctor, we went out to eat and then walked over to Baskin Robbins for some ice cream. Every couple of minutes Angel was melting over my boys' adorableness, and soon her camera was out taking more pictures. 

Gag! She's annoyingly awesome.

When we got home, we immediately got the boat ready to go. Angel decided not to come, but my close friend(and next-door neighbor) Kara  came with her daughter Allison. It was by far my favorite trip this year.

Kara went tubing with me, and she is just as crazy as me! At one point, I jumped from my tube to hers, and I was laughing so hard, I physically couldn't get off of her. I'm sure it looked all sorts of awkward, but it was totally worth it when we eventually flew off into the water laughing tears.

Next was Lincoln's turn, and boy has he gotten brave! Scott and him did some pretty crazy tubing together. He was laughing along with Scott as they swung in and out of the waves.  It was cute to see Scott and him tubing together; a small glimpse of our future boating years.

Then came Maverick's turn. He has surprised us with his sudden love for tubing, and he begged to go almost the entire time. I'm just so relieved that he is embracing our family sport! He went with Lincoln and Allison a few times, and I had to drag him out of the tube to get a turn! 

After we had all taken a beating on the tubes, we pulled out the wakeboards. I really, really love wakeboarding. I then convinced Kara to try it out. She was a little intimidated about trying since she has never been able to get up. I reassured her that I'm the best teacher ever(because I am) and pretty soon she was up! I was screaming so loud when she stood up that I'm positive that I was significantly more excited than she was. But I was just so proud of her! Then Scott went, and we both glared in jealousy as he jumped the wake and did fancy tricks that nobody knows the names of.

Then we went again today! I invited another friend of mine along with her husband and twin daughters. The day was a little stressful since our boat got searched, and we were missing several important documents and safety devices. Thankfully I have this gift of getting out of tickets, and so the officer let us get on the lake. 

We tubed, wakeboarded, and then went swimming. Probably my favorite thing to do while boating, is swim. It sounds simple, and maybe even boring, but I  Iove it. I'll just swim back and forth and lay in the water on my back and let my thoughts escape. It is incredibly therapeutic to me and freeing. Scott usually sits and gets tanner (lame!). Lincoln is like me, and is a little fish! Whereas Maverick can't handle the cold water, so he'll sit in the tube. 

On our way back, Scott got pulled over by the boat police(that sounds funny) and I had to work my magic powers to get out of a ticket...again. 

Once we finally made it back home, we took a break before I dragged everyone to buy fireworks at the reservation. I know that people say men love fireworks, but I'm the one that forces Scott to spend money on them. It is Lincoln's favorite holiday, so we bought a lot of big ones this year. I can't wait for the 4th! I'm sooooooo excited!!! Eeeeeeee! My good friend from work Tracy runs a stand with her husband, so we of course had to stop there to load up and say hi. 

After our fireworks were bought, we headed to the car and waited for a firework show to start. The boys played a little before, and then the fun began. 

Scott said it was the most intense firework show he has ever seen. At first it was just a few at a time, but the last 20 minutes was a straight finale. It was amazing! I was laughing and smiling so big that my face hurt; it was exactly what I needed. 

Now I'm laying in bed in complete pain! I'm sore and sunburnt. Isn't that the best type of pain; the pain that comes from a couple of days of playing hard? I've been craving the chance to laugh and have fun with Scott desperately, and I'm so thankful this weekend was filled with such genuine happiness. Awwwwwe. It feels good and reminds me of why I love my Scott so much. 

Choose Happiness

When I was in high school, like a million years ago, I use to say, "Life sucks and then you die!" It was all in jest and usually my way of making a dramatic situation a little more amusing, but I look back and want to smack myself! What a terrible thing to say! Life doesn't suck. Life is beautiful. Life is wonderful.

I have been asked throughout my life the golden question, "Are you happy?" It use to bother me. It always stopped me in my tracks and forced me to think about where I was in life. I would start naming my blessings; a way to reassure myself that I was in fact happy. Now, I just smile. Of course I am! Happiness is a choice, and I choose to be happy.

I could sit here and list endlessly all the reasons that support why I should be happy, but it doesn't matter unless I choose to embrace them. If I let the one negative thing in my life take over, then there is never going to be any amount of good things to counteract the bad.

Imagine a blank piece of paper. On this paper you color your blessings in yellow. As the blank page fills up with yellow markings, the white begins to disappear. Soon that white piece of paper is now yellow; all you can see is the happiness in your life. But what about the bad? You don't have very much bad in your life, so you'll use black to represent it. You take a black marker, and you draw a small little dot on your beautiful paper. You draw it in the corner away from the brightest yellow. As you hold up the paper, your eyes almost smile, but they instantly go to the black dot. You want to show people your picture, but their eyes are all drawn to the black. It is the smallest thing, but also the most noticeable. 

We all have negative things in our life; I certainly do. It's hard not to get pulled in by my little black dot. It's hard not to give my attention to something so blatantly obvious. If we feed the dot, it will grow. It will grow until it is the only thing you see, even if the rest of your life is filled with blessings, the black dot can consume you.

I choose to be happy. Every

single morning I wake up with the determination that today is going to be a good day. I invest my time and energy into the people and things that make me happy; my children, family, and closest friends. As I pump my energy into non-toxic things, I watch the black dot fade. My eyes no longer dart to it. My children are blessed by the positive energy that is displayed in our home. Happiness is contagious, and I watch my children react to my moods and emotions. I want their life to be filled with laughter, positivity, and light. When I am struggling to find the strength, I look at my sweet babes, and they give me the will to reach inside and find the power to choose happiness.

I guess the question now is, are you happy?

Brothers

Before I ever got married, I imagined a life filled with noise. I wanted lots of kids; both boys and girls. When we got pregnant with our first, I knew that I wanted a girl. I remember browsing Target's website looking at baby girl bedding, pink car seats, and cribs that were elegant with flowers. I imagined painting toe nails, braiding hair, dance classes, and all the toys I wanted as a little girl. We would go to the store, and I always dragged Scott into the "girl" toy section. Then we would head to the baby clothes where I would touch every little tiny pink outfit. Pink! I loved pink! I loved dresses, jewelry, and anything sparkly. 

We found out really early that we were having a boy; at only 11 weeks pregnant. My dream quickly changed to boy things, and I began browsing the boy toy aisle instead. I began imagining wrestling, soccer games, fighting with swords and guns, playing in the dirt, riding dirt bikes, and building forts to knock down. I became very excited to meet my little boy, and the thought of having a girl first suddenly seemed dreadful. 

My dream changed, and I embraced it.

When we became pregnant with number two, I wasn't quite sure what I wanted. My heart still yearned for a little girl, but having brothers sounded like a dream. Then I learned I was having a boy. I was so excited! But I was also disappointed. I didn't even realize that I wanted a girl until the doctor said it was a boy. I felt guilty, and as I drove home in my car crying, I promised myself I would never tell a soul. It was the strangest feeling; mourning the loss of a dream while celebrating another one. As I drove to the store to buy some matching outfits for my boys, I was struck by a thought. If the doctor had said "girl" I would have been equally crushed. Having brothers close together has always been a dream to me, and I got exactly that. So why was I so sad? It occurred to me that in some way we often mourn the gender we didn't get. 

Now people continually ask if we are having any more kids. I always respond with, "I would love too, but it's not me you have to convince. Scott says he is done." 

Then almost immediately they say, "oh you have to try for a girl." 

It doesn't bother me, nor am I offended by this warped perception. I simply nod my head. If we have another baby, it won't be because I want a girl, but because we want a baby. If people try for another baby simply wishing for a desired gender, then they are setting themselves up for failure as a parent no matter what the outcome is.

As I watch my boys wrestle and fight, I can't help but be proud. 

I am a mom of boys! It's something I never thought would make me so happy. People don't believe me when I say, "I want another boy." It's a concept that very few understand. The mother-daughter bond is remarkable, but what is even more powerful is the bond of brothers. It melts my heart to watch them genuinely care for each other. I think about my own sisters and the natural understanding we share by simply being the same gender.

 For now I am a mom to boys. Will there be a little girl in my future? Maybe, maybe not. I don't know what we will have next, but I know no matter what, I will feel a moment of sadness for the gender I didn't get. 

No we are not pregnant, but I would love another little one in my life if God lets it happen. 

Looks like it's time to blog again! I deleted Facebook a couple of days ago. Just temporarily; I felt like I was spending too much time on there. Anyways, once it was gone, I thought, "why not blog again?" It's always been healthy for me to write, and you all know that I can write for hours. When I say "you all" I am talking about the two people that still read this thing!

So here is a quick update of our life. 

I've been teaching, and I finally worked my last day today! Wahoo! Summer! It has been emotionally exhausting and rewarding. I feel so blessed to have this job, and just last week I was offered to stay on for another year. I was relieved to finally be hired on for good(originally I was just a leave replacement).

The hardest part about teaching, is saying goodbye to our senior students. I was close to a couple of them, and I am a little sad to see them go off in the world on their own. I want to hold their hands and still protect them. Next year will be even harder, as I will have spent even more time with them and grown even closer. 

I also had to say goodbye to a dear friend and co-worker. She got a job a few hours a way, and I was completely devastated to see her go. You know how there are certain people you connect with? She was definitely one of them. I didn't even get to know her until the last few weeks, and we just clicked. I was impressed with her huge heart, and I could sense that she was a good person. The light that came off of her was contagious, and it's made me want to be a better person. Although I might not see her again, she has made a huge impact on me already. I will miss her sense of humor, but I'm so happy for her future career plans. 

Now I am laying on my bed debating about what to do with all my time. I have a million chores to catch up on, but it's summer! Can't I leave them until August or something? My boys are loving having me home, but I can sense their desire for some friends to come play. So I'm guessing our summer days will involve lots of play dates. 

We have already taken the boat out a couple of days, and I was dreading it at first. It just felt like so much work, but once the wind hit my face, I was back to my boat obsession. I feel so free out there! 

Scott has been doing well at work. He's been so supportive of me working, and I count my blessings every day. It's been a huge adjustment having me work, but he's handled it so well and really stepped up to help with the daily chores. I watch him with my boys, and I fall in love with him all over again. He really is a good dad, and it's the one thing that no one can deny. He plays with them, is gentle with them, never yells or even raises his voice. He's a true example of being an excellent dad. I know it sounds cheesy, but as we continue on our journey together, our relationship has grown to a level that you don't think about when you're young. He is truly my family now. Being with him is deeper than butterflies and kisses, it's about supporting each other no matter what. We aren't perfect, and when I struggle, Scott is there for me, waiting for me to make it through. I've had my doubts; I've had moments where I questioned everything from my religion to marriage, and Scott has always waited patiently as I sort things out. He's not perfect either, but he is constantly striving to be a better person, and I love watching him grow into a better man. He makes me want to be a better human!

Now let's talk about "the wall." This wall is from Hell. Seriously! I picture hell as an endless wall where you have to eternally stack bricks. Considering we have moved 330 blocks, each weighing around 60 lbs, I would say this is pretty close glimpse of that. We are nearing some end, and our yard will essentially double in size. I'm not going to say how big, because everyone in Idaho will laugh at how much our yard is growing by. But you lucky folks don't even know the meaning of small yard! 

Today the boys and I built army houses. We glued some wood and grass together, and dang it looks good! I'm debating about starting a career in selling these things. They're that good! Some people build fairy houses, but how many build army fortresses? None. 

Well that's it for now. Maybe I will blog soon. Hopefully. This might have been my most random blog post yet. But that's how I roll!