That's right! We are expecting number three! I am more than excited to have another baby in our home. I have thought about announcing for awhile now, but I have secretly enjoyed the online world not knowing.
This baby is our little miracle! We started trying for a few months almost two years ago, but when I went back to work, we decided to take a break until the end of the school year. Then we tried for just a few more months before I got pregnant. When I saw that positive, I was overwhelmed with all sorts of emotions, but after a couple of days, all I felt was excitement.
At around week 7, I began experiencing heavy bleeding, clots, and what was exactly like my other two miscarriages. I told a few friends, but mainly I mourned in silence. I continued having morning sickness, and when calling the doctor, I was told that it can take up to a month for all the hormones to get out of my body. I felt awful. Not only did I feel completely alone from "miscarrying," but I was experiencing all the first trimester pregnancy symptoms.
After a few weeks of hell and trying to work full-time and be a good mom, I told Scott I thought I was still pregnant. There was no way this was a miscarriage. I felt way too awful, and it wasn't going away. I've never been more amazed at how well Scott treated me. That entire month, I would sit on the couch and just stare off into space when I got off work. I physically and emotionally couldn't get myself to move. I felt so defeated in every way. He made dinner, helped with the boys, and never once asked me to do anything. He just took over without me asking. It felt good to have someone there to physically help me.
Then I began taking tests, and they were very clear. I knew without a doubt that I was pregnant, and I felt both a mixture of relief and anxiety. I really hoped my baby was ok. I went into the doctor for an ultrasound when I was 17 weeks, and baby was healthy, moving, and strong!
I think the rocky start made it hard for me to connect, and after my one appointment with the doctor, I stopped going. I didn't want anything to do with pregnancy. I felt miserable.
Then at 26 weeks, I switched from a doctor to a midwife. I decided I needed someone to be emotionally there for me. My doctor basically ran out the door when I asked a single question. My midwife is amazing! She spent an hour just getting to know me, and my next appointment will be two hours. She checks for overall health, and it's exactly what I need. Immediately after spending time with her, I felt excitement about having a baby. She encouraged me to take control of my birthing process and to be strong. Empowering.
Now I am beyond excited to give birth to a beautiful baby! I'm going to go natural this time, and although I am scared, I can't wait for the experience I was made to do. In just a few months, I will be holding my third child!
It's crazy to think we will be a family of five. A complete, perfect family. Sigh.
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