Old and Gross Parents

Lincoln is growing up and has become aware of how people aren't perfect, especially his parents. Yet he doesn't understand WHY mom and dad have flaws and are......well.....just plain gross. A couple of weeks ago Scott was sitting on the couch shirtless and Lincoln pointed out one of his moles, "what's that dad?".
It's a mole" Scott said.
"Clean it off dad!" Lincoln demanded.
"I can't. It's a part of me. See touch it" Scott offered, leaning forward.
"No! Scary!" He screamed and to his complete horror Scott chased him around the house for the next five minutes with the nasty mole.

Lincoln now has a phobia of moles and makes sure to point out EVERY mole on our bodies now and informs us on how gross they are. Then he squirms, cries and freaks out if they get a little to close for comfort.

I don't have too many moles, but sometimes I am lazy when it comes to shaving. Pregnancy is a great excuse to not shave my legs with how difficult it is to reach certain areas and if I don't shave my legs, why would I shave my armpits? Well Lincoln noticed his mom's lack of grooming and when I get out of the shower he says, "lift your arm mom" before inspecting my armpits. If they aren't clean he points to the bathroom, "go cut your hair and clean your arms!".  I make sure to wear long sleeves and pants around him if I am not in the mood for a lecture on shaving.

That is just the tip of the iceburg. If you have bad breath, he says "brush your teeth", smell funny "take a shower", something in your nose, on your face, in your teeth, on your shirt, he will point it out and he won't stop bothering you until it is taken care of. Yesterday he was dry heaving until tears came down his cheeks because Scott's feet had something on them!

It keeps us clean but man is he a perfectionist and when he got his first freckle you can imagine how devastated he was.  He asked me to clean it off, called it gross and still points it out to me every day. I explained it was cute and after some convincing he accepted that. Afterall, he can have a dirty face and stinky breath as long as his parents aren't embarrassing him with their nastiness.

One of these days he will be old and gross too.