New Workout Shoes

My dad has recently discovered the D.I, the local place where people donate stuff they no longer want. While hanging out at my parents my dad came into the living room.

“I bought you some new workout shoes,” he said.

“Really?” I was excited! Who doesn’t like new shoes? Although I was a little worried he had gotten the wrong shoe size.

Turns out size was the least of my worries.

“What are they dad?” I asked lifting them up.

“No idea! But I got them for eight dollars. If I knew how to work that googlythinger I would figure out what they are.”

I took the honor of searching Google for him. After searching every phrase possible I found a similar pair on E-bay for ten dollars.

“Sorry dad, they are only worth ten dollars.” I showed him the E-bay ad.

“I knew I could make money, but I think I’m gonna keep em,” he said staring at them fondly.

He then proceeded to show me the other goods he found at the D.I for unbelievable prices. 

Three plastic trees, a bush and a creepy doll.

“Can you believe the stuff people throw away?” my dad asked shaking his head with disgust.

“No dad, I can’t believe it at all,” I mumbled glancing at the metal shoes.

My mom had a few words to say about it too, “People don’t even like porcelain dolls anymore!” she shrieked, “AND he made the most horrific muffins!” she huffed.

Now the muffins are definitely something to be upset about.

Rexburg Water Rapids

I wanted to take my Lincoln swimming today, so I invited along some friends. The local water park requires a diaper liner. I melted Lincoln’s diaper liner in the dryer. I wasn’t gonna buy a new one, so we reused it.

It’s slightly pathetic……

Even with a defective liner, we managed to have fun.

 

Mars Needs Moms

Just finished watching "Mars Needs Moms," and wow am I relieved! One of my big fears is getting abducted by martians. Turns out I have been worrying over nothing. Mars only abducts moms who can get their children to obey.

Fortunately, I can't get my child to do anything.

The Dollar Challenge: Hairy Armpits

WARNING: If hairy armpits gross you out STOP here.

The dollar challenge began when a co-worker told me he would give me a dollar if I ate my manager’s box of Cheez-its. Now there is something to be known about me; food is my weakness and I can never turn down a challenge. I ate that box of Cheez-its in less than 30 minutes.

That is when the dollar became MINE and I issued a challenge to someone else. The dollar continues to go around and around and the challenge is written on it.

          freedomsphoenix.com

Soon Katie got the dollar and she challenged me to not shave my armpits for the 3 weeks she would be gone on vacation.

        Challenge Accepted!

It was a long three weeks and when I say “long” I am referring to my armpit hair. I started wearing long sleeve shirts to work and “high fives” became “low fives” in my attempt to hide the secret under my arms.

Katie came back to Idaho bringing along her waxing kit. I don’t know who was happier to see her, me or everyone who has had to witness my hairy armpits.

The damage three weeks of not shaving can do to a person:

Katie getting ready. She might look all sweet and innocent, but believe me, she is heartless!

Waxing! I have always thought that I had a high tolerance for pain. Turns out I was wrong. Worst pain EVER! I would prefer having my wisdom teeth removed again or perhaps having a baby naturally. Heck, maybe both at the same time.

After: Look how red my armpits are! They hurt for like 2 days.

So, I know a few of you are thinking, “Will Heather ever wax her armpits again?”

I wish I could answer with a simple “yes” or “no” but really all depends on if there is a dollar involved.

10 Things Lincoln Learned This Week

1. If you don’t want to do something play dumb.

Me: Lincoln clean up your toys

Lincoln: What?

Me: Lincoln clean up your toys.

Lincoln: What?

Me: I said clean your trucks up child.

Lincoln: What?

2. Everything sounds better with the words “green” and “funny” in front of it.

Lincoln yesterday: I want my funny, green trailer!

Lincoln this morning: I want funny, green socks.

Lincoln last night: Where funny, green jamies go?

3. Mommy is nicer without makeup.

As I was getting ready Lincoln began screaming, “No pretty mommy! I don’t like pretty mommy!”.

4. Some books can be colored in.

Lincoln saw me marking my scriptures and started getting mad, “No mommy! No color book!”.

I tried to explain to him it is okay to color a little in the scriptures. Later I found him coloring my scriptures with crayons.

5. Always say goodbye to everything every time you leave anywhere.

As we left the nature park, “Bye-bye trees, bye-bye rock, bye-bye birdy, bye-bye ducks.”

Every time we leave the house, “Bye-bye house, bye-bye truck, bye-bye toys.”

6. Apologize before you do something bad.

“Sorry mommy,” he said before jumping on my stomach.

“Sorry mommy,” he said before turning off the lights on me.

“Sorry car,” he said before chucking it across the room.

7. “Happy” is a fun word.

I am always asking Lincoln if he is happy. I guess I am a little over-concerned about his happiness. Now he walks around the house saying, “HAPPY! HAPPY! HAPPY! HAPPY!”

8. “Bésame” means “kiss me”

Me: Bésame boca.

Lincoln: No boca!

Me: Come on bésame.

Lincoln, leaning in for kiss: okay, bésame mommy.

9. Life is better naked.

While attempting to put on Lincoln’s diaper he would grab it and run and hide it and come back laughing. After 5 diapers disappearing I gave up.

Me: I give up! You are stuck naked.

Lincoln running around screaming: Happy! Happy! Happy!

10. Pretend to be hurt and mom won’t make you sleep.

Lincoln has begun waking up screaming, “Owie! Owie! Owie!” I of course freak out and get him out of bed. Then I am worried he is starving to death so I make him food in the middle of the night.

Here are a few pictures of my Lincoln!

How to Make a Healthy, Yummy Fruit Smoothie

One of my favorite treats is a fruit smoothie. I make them almost every day. Especially for breakfast!

Step 1: Gather ingredients!

-A cup of each of your favorite frozen fruits: I chose pineapples and mangos today. Strawberries and bananas are great too.

-One container of your favorite yogurt: Today I used fat free lime yogurt.

-One cup of Almond Milk: It only has 60calories and is SO yummy.

-Apple or orange juice added to desired thickness: I used apple juice.

Step 2: Find yourself a little helper

Step 3: Add the ingredients! Use as much apple juice as you want depending on how thick you want it.

Step 4: Blend it up and pour yourself a glass

Step 5: Enjoy!

One of my favorite memories of my dad is him making milkshakes. Almost once a week he would throw a bunch of ingredients together and make the family a tasty treat. I loved it! It was always a fun surprise to see what he would invent. Now I get to do the same thing with my son, but this time it is fruit smoothies!

10 Facts About My Job

A friend of mine does a fun fact friday. I thought it was a really cute idea, and have officially began friday facts.

I work at a jewelry store where I am constantly learning new things. This is what I learned this past week:

Fact 1: People really do get engaged after knowing eachother for 3 days.

Fact 2: Squeezing into a ring two sizes too small is not like squeezing into pants two sizes too small. Your finger will swell, turn purple and your manager might have to cut off the ring.

Fact 3: Getting kissed on the cheek by your 80-year-old customer is a mixture of creepy and sweet.

Fact 4: People come looking for $50 wedding rings and are devastated when they can't find one.

Fact 5: If you are nice to your customers, they will bring you Birthday cake and then buy their ring somewhere else.

Fact 6: If you don't want the surprise ruined you probably should give the store your phone number and not hers.

Fact 7: You might get asked by your customer if you will marry him.

Fact 8: Things become really awkward when you ask if the guy brought in his daughter to help him pick out a ring, and it turns out to be his girlfriend.

Fact 9: If the alarm goes off in the middle of the night, you get to watch the police search the place with their guns drawn, only to find out it was a hanging sign that set off the alarm.

Fact 10: You will get in trouble by the four men you work with if you turn on the heat in the middle of the summer and lose all thermastat priveledges.