Exhausted

Here is to me being completely honest……

   I am tired. Very tired. My hair looks like something out of “Edward Scissors hands,” my nice tan has faded, I smell like I haven’t showered, cause I haven’t, and the chance of me putting on makeup today or actually getting dressed is about as likely as Lincoln being potty trained.

Why am I so tired?

Simple, I am working two jobs until my 2 weeks notice is up. I am working over 55 hours a week and because I am determined to prove that work won’t affect my other responsibilities I have managed:

To keep my house spotless and kept up on all extra cleaning including the laundry, scrubbing toilets, vacuuming daily, dusting, mopping, grocery shopping and well everything in between.

And most importantly comes Lincoln. I worry so much that my working will affect his happiness that I have made sure every moment with him is special. Library, park visits, stroller rides, trampoline time and making cookies and treats together.

But then I started doing something that every mother swears not to do, allow her child to sleep in her bed.

Yep, I started that nightmare.

I hear him cry and I start thinking of all the reasons he is crying:

    He is crying because he has a horrible mom

        He doesn’t know where he is any more because he gets babysat in two different houses.

                   He misses me

                        …..sooooooooo…..

I run to his recue and hold him in my arms and take him back to bed with me because I want to snuggle with my baby and make up for the hours I was away from him.

         and the next night it happens again

                and again

                   and again

and soon I have created this sweet sleeping monster that tosses and turns and pushes me off the bed and takes my pillow and has to have his head on mine and talks in his sleep and kicks me and while he is getting plenty of sleep I am getting none.

but I can’t STOP because there is nothing more sweet than watching him sleep.

And this morning while half my body was on the bed and the other was on the night stand I realized I can’t do it anymore. After a short two weeks, I am simply too tired. So I refuse to clean, or shower or do anything but spend my day playing with Lincoln.

        Tonight is my last night at Taco Bell *sigh of relief* and things might calm down enough that I will be strong enough to leave Lincoln in his bed. Hopefully.

Sorry about me complaining! There are plenty of single moms out there that work and do it all and I honestly am in complete awe for them.

Here are some pictures of Lincoln at the park. He looks bald! haha!