And Then I Crawl into a Hole and DIE…..

Last Friday, I took Maverick and Lincoln on a wagon ride and found a letter in my door.

It stated that the apartment complex would be running fire alarm tests on Monday(that would be today) and not to be frightened by the continual alarms getting set off. Also, they will have a master key to each apartment and if no one is home they will come inside and quickly check the alarms.

“That should be great for nap time,” I thought and tucked it into the wagon so I would remember later (my first mistake).

Fast-forward three days later and I completely forgot about the letter. Lincoln is busy watching a movie and I go into my room and start breastfeeding Maverick. The fire-alarm starts to go off and I think, “ Oh yea, that was today” and I continue to feed maverick not thinking much more about it (my second mistake). The noise continues to get louder and louder and Maverick is having a heck of a time staying focused on the task at hand.

Then Lincoln runs into my bedroom, “Mom! Dad is home!”.

I look at the clock and reply, “No, that’s not daddy. He won’t be home yet,” and I continue to struggle to feed Maverick and don’t even think about why Lincoln thinks his dad is home (my third mistake).

Maverick has never had such a hard time latching and the noise is frustrating us both. Every time it screeches he flips his head backwards and begins looking around.

In my hurry to get the job done, I tug my shirt alllllll the way up with both, yes BOTH, boobs exposed when I hear a man say, “Hey”. My first thought is “Scott’s home” and I turn and nearly have a heart-attack at Random-fire-guy standing in my doorway. He gets a great show and smacks the door frame in his attempt to escape my room.

I scream, “OH MY FREAKING HECK! I AM BREASTFEEDING!”.

He begins mumbling that he knocked and just needs to check the alarms.  (Our front door is on the first floor and our apartment is on the second floor. We literally never hear anyone knock even without fire alarms going.)

I calm myself down and we spend the next two minutes awkwardly pretending that he didn’t just see me half-naked and then he leaves. I mumble a thank you and he literally runs down our stairs.

and then I crawl into a hole and die……..