Thank You Officer

I have this problem running red lights. I am just not patient enough. Today, I was driving and the light turned red, so I hit the gas and sped through it. Unfortunately, the police car in the lane next to mine, stopped. Stupid rule followers!

He quickly went through the red light after me, lights flashing.

"Do you know why I pulled you over?" he asked.

I decided to play the stupid card, "No idea" I said, shrugging my shoulders.

"For one the speed limit is 25, not 39, and secondly you ran a red light." he said sternly.

"Oh....." I was starting to panic. I pride myself in getting out of tickets, but this time no excuses were coming.

"Can I get your license, insurance and registration?" he asked getting straight to the point. He obviously didn't want to hear my excuses, even if I did have one.

I reached for my wallet and pulled out my license, "This is a terrible picture of me," I said before handing it over, "I was nine months pregnant." He didn't seem to care.

I started searching for the insurance and registration. I handed the registration over and started scrambling through the papers for the insurance. I pulled out an insurance card.

"That's 2008" he said impatiently.

Why there is a 2008 insurance card in my brand new car, I will never know. I grabbed a different one.

"That's 2009, you're getting closer," he looked bored.

My hands began shaking. Why do I have insurance cards to vehicles I don't even own anymore? There was no way I was getting out of this ticket. Eventually I gave up.

"I don't have it!" I threw up my hands in defeat, "just give me a ticket".

He seemed shocked. People probably don't normally demand tickets, "Well, just so you know your registration is up at the end of this month," he pointed out the date and I began laughing. Like laughing uncontrollably.

"That isn't even the registration to this car! That's to my truck!" I exclaimed, and continued laughing. What were all these papers doing in my car?

"Oh, it is....you're right" he looked really confused, "well it expires at the end of this month."

"Don't worry," I breathed through gasps of laughter, "I already crashed that truck!"

"Oh! Well, because you're wearing your seat belt, I won't give you a ticket." he seemed nervous. Perhaps my maniac laugh was alarming?

"Thank you officer" I said smiling brightly.

I am still laughing.

Miscarriages Suck!

Apparently that fall was a lot harder than I imagined. I started losing the baby a few days later. I feel really embarrassed that I told people so early and now I have to announce to the world that I am no longer pregnant.

I have felt every sort of emotion, but overall I just feel weird and empty. I don’t like to talk about it, and the worst thing you can ask is, “How is the bleeding?” ask me that and you might get smacked.

I wonder if God is punishing me. I wonder if I don’t deserve to have another baby. I wonder a lot of things. I don't believe I have ever cried so much in all my life. My heart aches, my stomach feels sick and feel so empty.

When I found out I was pregnant, I was devastated. Then I got attached and now I want a baby SO very much! I never thought I would lose my baby. It never even crossed my mind, and yet 10 weeks along I lose it because of something I did. I can hardly look at myself in the mirror. This stupid scar on my face reminds me of why I lost him and I can't help but feel angry! I know everything will be alright in the end. I know it will be! The future has endless opportunities to be happy and I am blessed with the life I do have.

I am the BIGGEST clutz!

It is true. If there is a way for me to get hurt, I find it.

Like today:

I decided to jump off the deck to the trampoline! It was a good idea at the time.

Except I have no coordination.

I was holding onto the tree, while standing on the deck and tried stepping to the tramp. I was even being careful. Well I lost my footing and my face slid down the tree before smacking into the rocks. I just laid there in shock, and then I felt the blood pouring down my forehead. I didn't know what to do. It knocked the wind out of me and I hit my stomach and ribs really hard on the rocks. After I could catch my breath, I ran to the house to see the damage done. The cut was really deep and the blood was out of control. Head wounds always bleed so much. I super glued my forehead shut and cleaned my cheek. I handled it all really well, but I get hurt so much it kind of is like a routine, haha.

Anyways, my cheek looks bad but the cut on my forehead hurts WAY worse.

 

I think the most depressing part is that I thought I looked all cute today, and now my face is all messed up and ugly. Go figure. I already have a few scars on face from other accidents I had over the past couple of years. This one will probably scar too.

Isn’t my outfit adorable though? Gotta love shopping!

I was really nervous about the baby. I love this little gummy bear already! I can't imagine what it would do to me if I lost it for being an idiot falling off decks. I talked to my brother and he assured me that there is enough padding around the little guy that he should be fine.

Oh, and if you’re wondering, Scott doesn’t beat me :) He is too sweet for that!

I dislike MEAN people

Pregnancy has done something to me. I can no longer tolerate anyone that is rude. To tell you the truth, I like the new me, I don’t take crap from anyone.

Example:

I went to the grocery store and was standing in line with my son. Some rude guy cut in front of me and put his toothpaste on the checkout line.

“Excuse me!” I said, picking up his box of toothpaste and placing it back in his hands, “We were here” I pointed dramatically to myself.

“Sorry, I didn’t see you there,” he placed the toothpaste back down on the line.

“Oh right, you didn’t notice me, my son and my cart full of food?” I grabbed the toothpaste again and shoved it in his chest like a knife, “Well, do you notice us now?”

“I only have one thing” he said shaking his box violently in front of my eyes.

“And I have fifty things!” and I started to unload my grocery cart. I don’t think I have ever met such a mean person(I am referring to him). He looked at me with a smirk and proceeded to hand his stupid toothpaste to the cashier.

Oh he did NOT just do that!

“No!” I yelled, he was not going to win this battle, “I was here first!” I said to the cashier and for once those dang hormones worked to my advantage. My eyes filled up with tears and the lady reacted by glaring at the guy.

“Get in the back of the line sir” she said and then smiled at me sweetly, “Don’t you hate people like that?”

“Yes I do” I piped, “he was so very mean to me” and I left the store walking a little taller and slightly more confident with an overwhelming feeling of possessing super hero powers.

I even yelled at someone for not putting their cart back in the rack, “Hey You! Put your dang cart back!”

What is Going on in Heather’s Life?

Well not a whole lot, but here is a complete update on life!

Work:

I love my job! I spend a lot of hours daydreaming about my next wedding ring, haha. It has been really hard having to leave Lincoln. Every time I drop him off he breaks down in tears. It’s heart wrenching, but on the positive side:

It has made me a better mom! The moments we have together are spent having fun.

Park Time!

We go to the park everyday before I work. Something about carrying a wagon around makes me feel like a homeless person, it’s an incredible feeling.

Clean Time!

Lincoln is an incredible helper around the house and the car.

Bath Time!

While Lincoln takes a bath, I usually do my hair and makeup. Today he stood up and began whining, “All done momma, all done!”

I turned to look at him and he was holding his poop! It was gross. When I cleaned out the tub, Lincoln was dry-heaving. He has such a sensitive stomach like me, haha!

Toy Time!

Today we went to Wal-Mart and I let Lincoln choose a toy and a treat. He was so excited when we got home!

 

Other things:

Besides work and being a mom, I have been reading lots, going to movies, writing and taking photos like crazy.

All the things I LOVE and also all VERY therapeutic for me.

Peanut Butter

I was grabbing my stuff to leave for work, Lincoln was running around like a crazy monkey and Scott was being grumpy because he had to babysit on his day off.

Right before I left, Scott walked down the hall and his foot slid awkwardly beneath him. He lifted his foot and smeared across the wood floors was a light brown sticky mess.

“Why is there peanut butter on the floor?” he said looking confused.

“That’s not peanut butter, that is poop.” I said laughing.

“No it’s not. Poop doesn’t randomly land on the floor.”

“And a peanut butter jar opens itself and randomly spreads itself in the middle of the floor?” I asked.

“It’s peanut butter” Scott said defiantly.

“Alright, if you are SO sure that it is peanut butter, then smell it” I said smiling.

and to my complete amazement Scott removed his sock and held his sock up to his nose.

“WHY IS THERE CRAP ON THE GROUND?!?” he yelled.

I was too busy laughing on the ground to answer.

Unconditional Love

Last night Lincoln refused to go to sleep in his bed. After several minutes of crying I gave up and laid him next to me in my bed, “Time to go night, night,” I told him.

He snuggled up on my shoulder and stared up at me. I grabbed out my book and began reading.

“Mama?” he asked.

“What baby?” I said still reading my book.

“I love you” he said.

“I love you too baby”

“Mama?” he asked.

“Yes baby?”

“Night, night” he said snuggling a little closer.

He continued telling me stuff for the next 15 minutes, saying he loved me, or about his toys, or that he was going night, night. As I flipped through the pages of my book, I responded to him without really listening.

“Mama?” he said.

“Yes baby?”

“Mama look, look” he begged and I looked down at him giving me a cheesy grin.

“You’re so beautiful baby” I told him in reply and he really was.

He lifted his hands up to my face and brushed my skin, “mama pretty” he said and he pointed at my eyes, “pretty eyes”.

My heart melted as his little eyes fluttered shut and he fell asleep with his little hand still touching my face and his other one holding my hand.

I am always wishing time away, hoping it will go by faster, wanting my work day to end or anticipating the next paycheck. As Lincoln laid there, I wanted time to freeze and for that moment it felt as though it had.

When he was sleeping deep enough, I carried him to his room, but I couldn’t get myself to put him to bed. So, I sat on the floor and held him close. I felt completely overwhelmed with unconditional love and pure happiness.

Rotten

WARNING: GRAPHIC PHOTOS

I use to drink skim milk everyday, then one day my milk got placed behind Lincoln’s 2% Milk and I was STARVING and didn’t have time to move his to get to mine. Alright, alright, I was too lazy.

The point is….

I drank that 2%  milk the entire day and the next day I went to try my skim milk and it tasted like CRAP! No joke, I had to throw away my Lucky Charms (very disappointing).

I couldn’t drink it anymore! So, I kept drinking that delicious 2% milk and I watched my skim milk begin to rot

        and rot

             and rot some more

and I kept thinking about dumping it out but even the thought made me gag.

Instead I stashed it in the back of the refrigerator where it turned into something that is indescribable.

So I will show you a picture instead: (the white specks are mold)

When it started bulging and looking like it might burst, I did what needed to be done, I unscrewed the lid and let the air out and stashed it back in the fridge.

But it was this constant rotting mess ALWAYS reminding me!

Well today my mom and I discussed the problem:

“Just dump it down the sink” she said.

“Really mom!? You know I can’t rinse milk chunks down the drain. I’ll throw up!” I exclaimed.

“Throw it in my garbage can” she offered.

“It will explode!” I whined.

“Freeze it”.

    Now that sounded like a good idea.

So I shoved it in the freezer.

Two hours later I went to get me some ice-cream and the milk was dripping on it!

“Oh my gosh!” I screamed “This milk is RUINING my life!” and I grabbed it and announced to anyone that was listening, “I am dumping it outside!”

This is how it went:

In the beginning, I was more than excited to get rid of it.

Lincoln was very supportive the entire time. When we got back inside he was walking around pretending to dry heave and spitting on the ground.

                    At the end I just felt sick

Tonight I’m prepared to have milkmares (aka milk nightmares)

I was thirsty

Today I was insanely thirsty! I mean I literally felt like I was going to die of thirst! I drove to Wal-Mart and started grabbing EVERY drink off the shelf I wanted.

I ended up grabbing a fish too. With my cart full of liquids it just felt like he belonged in there too.

When we got home I decided to throw a “Drink Party”. Lincoln and I were the only guests, but it was a blast!

This is our new fish. I named him Kato.

                     Cheers!

 

                              BEST FRIENDS

Lincoln was so excited about the party! He wouldn’t leave my side and would say, “cheers!” and we would click our glasses together, haha!

Tantrum

Today Lincoln tested my patience.

He refused to eat until he had put deodorant on.

He refused to get dressed until he took a bath.

He refused to take a bath until he weighed himself and sat on the potty.

He refused to wear what I wanted him to because he wanted to wear his dirty outfit from the day before.

and then the tantrum began….

                   the hour long tantrum

                              the tantrum from hell

I dressed him and he screamed, kicked, hit, twisted and ran. It took me 10 minutes to button his shirt alone.

But I remained calm. In fact I laughed.

Then he followed me around the house screaming bloody murder and saying, “Help me! Help me!” and, “I’m dying! I’m dying”.

After 15 minutes of this I put him in his crib, turned off the light and shut the door.

He screamed for about 2 minutes and then everything went silent. I was relieved.

“Finally” I thought, “He has decided to be good.”

When I opened the door he had crawled out of his crib and was busy pulling his dirty outfit out of his clothes hamper.

He has never even tried to get out of his crib before!

So I put him back in his crib, while he screamed, “shirt! shirt! Shirt!”

I grabbed all his clothes and put them in the washer out of his reach.

He was busy screaming in his room, so I shut myself in the bathroom and began getting ready.

When everything went silent again, I decided to give him a few more minutes before I got him.

When I went to get him, he was not in his room.

He was busy grabbing his dirty outfit out of the washer from a kitchen chair!

So, I put him in time out again…

and again…

and again….

and after an entire hour he gave up!

Even though I won this war,

                     for some reason I feel like I lost.

Next time I am gonna let him be the smelly kid.

Happy Mother’s Day

From the moment I first saw that positive sign on the pregnancy test I knew that being a mom would be the only thing that would matter the rest of my life.

Nothing can explain the feeling I felt when I held Lincoln for the very first time, and no words can express these last two years of motherhood. My life is full of blessings and love because of him and I don’t have a single thing to complain about as long as I have Lincoln to snuggle and take care of.

 

 

 

 

  

I am so thankful that I can be a mom and that my Father in Heaven blessed me with another baby! Next Mother’s Day, I will have two babies to love!

and I am especially thankful for my own mom! She is the greatest grandma ever! Lincoln loves her so much!

  

        Happy Mother’s Day Girlies!